Self Care, Loss, and the Sanctuary Life
To outsiders, the term ‘sanctuary life’ conjures up images of lush green pastures, idyllic landscapes, or smiling people cuddling chickens, and for good reason – the realities of rainy mornings spent fixing broken fencing or frustrating fundraising meetings aren’t often highlighted on sanctuary brochures. There are certainly countless wonderful benefits to sanctuary life, but those are balanced by difficulties – particularly the all-too-frequent process of letting go. Sanctuary staff, volunteers, and board members know all too well that they, unlike the general public, must deal with the seemingly impossible task of coping with the sickness and death of their residents. For those closely involved at sanctuaries, finding effective coping strategies can mean the difference between moving forward as a community and falling apart.
Sometimes solitary coping strategies can be most effective when living the sanctuary life. Scott, a tour guide at Yamnuska Wolfdog Sanctuary in Alberta, shares his strategy of remembering the positives associated with the job. ‘"This too shall pass" is a phrase I find myself repeating often,” he explained. “Every time [I] give [myself] a quick ‘reality check’ I find my list of positive things to pick from seriously outweighs the problem at hand, and that alone is a good way to snap out of whatever has me feeling down.” This ability to check in with oneself is certainly an important one, particularly when other sanctuary residents are depending on us to continue onward. For other sanctuary staff members, the written word can help kick-start the grieving process. Angela Townsend, Development Director for Tabby’s Place: A Cat Sanctuary in Ringoes, New Jersey, doubles as the main author of the organization’s blog, and the responsibility has provided her with an unexpected opportunity: she acts as a eulogy writer of sorts. “Retelling each cat's story, sharing his or her spirit with our readers, and processing my own feelings through words is both cathartic and restorative for my spirit…I imagine journaling could be a similar help for anyone struggling through loss and sadness.” In one of Townsend’s most poignant posts, she asks a question about a departed cat, Adelaide, that many working in caregiving roles are familiar with: “How has Adelaide only been with us a year and a half, when clearly it was all our lives?” Turning inward in times of tragedy can often be the best place to start the healing journey.
Of course, there are some losses that can only be helped through the power of community. For Townsend, personal faith intertwines deeply with the sense of community she feels at Tabby’s Place. She expresses that, despite differences in beliefs or experiences, the Tabby’s Place team acts as a support network for one another. “We completely hold one another up in the inevitable tough times – sometimes literally! We've made an informal tradition of sharing stories -- good, bad, ridiculous and otherwise -- as we prepare to let one of our cats go. Laughs, tears, hugs and years of shared memories bind us together in friendship while easing the agony of goodbye.”
Brooke Mueller, Program Coordinator for Sanctuary One in Jacksonville, Oregon, also reflected on the importance of a strong community during a time of loss. “As people form attachments to different animals, we take care to break the news to those who were more bonded to an animal in a gentle way and allow time for grieving.” By looking out for one another, sanctuary staff can find ways of grieving together. It is key to recognize that the best care can only be provided when we look out for our own mental health - as well as encouraging the self care of our coworkers.
Those lucky enough to live the sanctuary life are undoubtedly faced with tragedy, but it is the ways in which we handle tragedy that define us and inspire others. Striking a balance between personal reflection and communal expression of grief can help remind us of the importance of the work we do. Mueller added, “It is a delicate balance between caring and losing yourself in a cause. Having open communication helps us the most get through everything that happens as this is a group effort and we can only do it together.”
